Part 5: Episode V: Liver and Onions
Episode V: Liver and Onions
When last we left our hero, he'd just defeated Osric...the only villain the game had going for it... That leaves a bit of a void. With that said, let's continue...
Too bad for old Osric. All that's left for him is the great beyond. Or a light snack for the Shrek Gauntlet. Num num num.
The giant was nice enough to smash open a secret passage, upon his untimely demise. Though, it likely wasn't with good will intended. There's a file on the other side of the thing...
Journal #2
Pictured: Master getting his shit stomped in.
Something to seal the cave, you say...? Good God!
!!!
"And what the dinner special would be at Ruby Tuesdays."
"And leave dull files with such deep themes such as 'demons are bad' and 'demons are really bad.'"
Tossing the file aside and pressing further into the newly opened passage, we find a twisting corridor leading deeper into the cave. Also of note is this little trinket:
The Fluorite. There are twenty of these little things scattered about the game. They are completely invisible and can only be obtained by obsessively clicking on scenery (which you should be in a survival horror game.) Later on, there is an item which makes the fluorite visible. But, that's not for some time.
What are the fluorite bits used for, you ask? Unlocking secrets, of course! For obtaining ten pieces of fluorite and completing the game, the secret costumes for Sam and Kaede are unlocked (though, you must also get a "S" ranking upon game completion as well.)
Collecting all twenty pieces unlocks a bonus battle mode: Oni Spirits. Oni Spirits is a balls-to-the-walls 12 level gauntlet against various sets of enemies in a rather confining room.
Completing it unlocks "Ultimate Mode". This is not some super difficulty, but basically a cheat mode. A new game in Ultimate Mode starts with a maxed out Samanosuke with unlimited magic, 99 full heal medicines, and the most powerful sword in the game.
On the subject of difficulty: There is no harder difficulties. There is an easy mode, unlocked by sucking and dying 5+ times. But, the default difficulty is the highest you get. Which is disappointing, as the game isn't particularly difficult, outside on completely optional section.
Moving on, we stumble upon a secret
Sam heads on in.
Why do I sense mine is about to get a bit more swollen?
Crimson Concern: The new look by Samanosuke Akechi.
Am I looking at someone with tentacles coming out of the back of his head? Tell me I'm not looking at that.
Remember back when Nobs kicked the bucket and I said Capcom was completely incapable of writing a villain that wasn't completely cartoonish?
I still stand by that statement. Meet Guildenstern. A villain so cheesy I went to the bathroom and shat pepperjack after this scene.
"I've already got a human right here. What would I do with another human? Now, were you a Humanzee...that would be a different story. I've never seen a humanzee liver before."Guildenstern returns to his work.
"He wore a festive hat and pretended he was a monkey. It was grand."
Sapphire Concern: The new look by Samanosuke Akechi.
"It's a fun name to say, isn't it?"
Guildenstern is loving this shit. Or...he just doesn't have lips. One of the two.
At least we now know where Trauma Center's pentagram use medical procedures got its roots.
"I'm just going to go ahead and glaze over how cave dwelling demons managed to get a hold of his body or were interested in him in the first place. I'm sure it's not too important."
"Newest creation?! The hell does that have to do with anything we've talked about so far?" "It gives me an excuse to escape while cackling. That's good enough for me."
Really... You're going with that? That's your exiting threat...?
Guildenstern departs and leaves us with our new playmate: tentacle rape monster Reynaldo. I'd like to note that despite Guildy's threat...Reynaldos don't have a mouth...
Renaldos are fairly weak, as far as attack power goes. However, their attack animations are really awkward, so it's particularly difficult to Issen them.
Their biggest advantage is attack range. Which is huge. They can also send their tentacles underground to grab Sam's foot and leave him open for attack by other enemies. Plus, you get icky tentacle slime in your boot and that's just unpleasant to walk in.
Oh yeah, if you do a standard combo to one, you'll cut it in half.
...And those two halves will grow into full monsters with full hit points. Wonderful.
The trick to killing a Reynaldo is to quickly finish off one of the newly spawned halves before it can get up.
Then, when you're down to one, it's best to just kick the shit out of the monster. Kicks won't knock Reynaldo down, but they do stagger him long enough to smack him with another kick. Kicks are very weak attacks, but they do deal a bit of damage.
Reynaldo can only be cut in half if he's at low health. But, he has to be able to survive the initial blow to do so. Kicking the monster will assure its health is whittled away enough that one final slash will outright kill it. It's a bit of a cheap tactic. But, you can't fool around with hentai demons.
You may have noticed the glowing orb behind the Reynaldo during the cutscene.
This is the second of three upgrade orbs Sam can obtain.
The Enryuu. Better known as...
The flaming broadsword. Education Station:
"I'm Dr. Cyrus Norman."
"And I'm Albert Wesker." "Dr. Albert Wesker, right?" "Well...of a sorts." "Of a sorts? Are you saying you don't have any formal training?" "I didn't say that at all. I had top notch at the Umbrella Management Training Facility in North West Raccoon City." "I...can't say I've ever heard of that institution." "An unfortunate accident occurred back in the '90s. My mentor being resurrected by leeches and a self destruct system. It's a long story." "I...see..." "Today's subject is the character of Guildenstern. Guildenstern is another reference to Shakespeare's Hamlet. In it, Guildenstern, alongside Rosencrantz, play the role of student friends of the lead, Hamlet. But, in truth are spies for the corrupt King Claudius, Hamlet's uncle." "What does that have to do with a mad scientist demon?" "I told you, it's just a bloody name. Stop looking so far into things! Back to the subject, Reynaldo is also an extremely minor character from the play. He is a spy of Polonius, the chief advisor of Hamlet's uncle, who is sent to check up on Polonius' son, Laertes." "I see." "As a scholar of tentacle monsters, I must say the name Reynaldo is dreadful. Where's the malice? Where's the evoking of dread? Where's the hyphen?" "The hyphen?" "You know. Like T-Squirmer or Punisher-X." "Why am I here, again?"Tune in next time for:
Bald men!
Short men!!
Ugly men!!!
Bonus Content:
Guildenstern's Introductory Cutscene (High Level Cheesy Voice Actor Warning)